Love......

Love..... One word that is certainly used a LOT of times. Whether one means it or not is completely a different issue altogether... But, now-a-days, this word has been used SO many times that I sometimes think this thing called 'love' is totally overrated.
Example 1: 'Oh my god, look at those boots, i LOVE them! i so want them!"
Example 2: OHMIGOSH! Taylor Lautner is so HOT! i love him!"
and the list can go on and on and on... (Not that I don't use it... I do too!  )

BUT, despite being in a relationship for quite some time now, I still find it difficult to define this tiny, four letter word. What is love after all? Is love something that happens very often? Is it a feeling that is same for everybody?

If Bollywood movies are to be believed, you know you're in love when
1) Everything suddenly goes slow motion
2) You start appreciating life more
3) You find violins playing behind you when you see the 'special one'.
4) AND, most importantly, there will be a breeze that will blow in your face, indicating the entrance of your 'special one'.
Is this what really happens?
Sadly, I did not feel any of the above! Although I was certainly happier, I did not experience those things mentioned above!
But it turns out, even if my life is not so dramatic as to slow down suddenly and have a waft of air blowing on my face every time I see him, I certainly am in love.

Love, so far as I have been able to discern, is a feeling of satisfaction. A feeling of being complete. A feeling of pure bliss and happiness. Love is something that makes you care a little more than usual, makes you trust a little more than usual, makes you go crazy a little more than usual. Love, all said and done, is a FEELING, that cannot be defined. It is just there, and when it happens, you will know it.

Some people are commitment-phobic, thinking their freedom and independence will be snatched away. But love does not bind you to anything. If anything, from what I have experienced, it liberates you more, helps you grow, helps you cope with things when they seem out of hand, make you smile when you're low...... Love brings out the best in you....

Oh god! Now THIS sounds dramatic!  maybe, I should consider script-writing!
Anyway, after many profound thoughts and discussions with my confiders, even after ranting so much about my 'feelings', I reached a conclusion- , Love, for me, is the most difficult word to define so far. And I think, it is difficult because it means different things for different people....

But at the end of the day.... Love is Love.... 

The man who sold newspapers

The evening was chilly, with cold wind blowing across the raging waters of Ganges, at Haridwar. As we were waiting on its bank for the daily Arti (Prayer) to begin, I spotted him, selling one sheet of the newspaper for Re.1 (as we were expected to sit when the Arti took place). There was nothing unusual about him… He was just another guy earning his bread and butter.  He was dressed (smartly though) in a dirty dhoti kurta, wearing a matching topi on top— another person making his living. So what was unique about him?

Firstly, it was the unusual way he was working to support himself (and his family) that sparked my interest in him. I don’t think many people can think of earning money by selling ONE sheet of newspaper, that too for us to sit on the ground! Isn’t it amazing what different things people do to survive? The varied means through which people earn if only just to satiate their hunger never ceases to astound me!

But what impressed me more than his remarkable entrepreneurial skill was the cheerfulness with which he did his job. Undeterred by his appearance, he shouted “Ek rupaye mein ek paper”, while joking around with all the security guards and troubling the policemen stationed there to control the crowd. He was shouting, talking, laughing, making fun—he did not seem to have a care in the world, and it seemed like he was living for the moment, and certainly did not care what people thought of him…  

I was so intrigued by his jolly nature that I wanted to speak to him and give him some money… But somehow, that did not seem right since he was earning his income and wasn’t a mendicant. Nevertheless, I wanted to interact with him at least once and thankfully, I got the opportunity of talking to him soon. Once the Arti was done, he got the burning camphor on a plate and offered it to all of us standing there… donating money on the plate was optional. Seeing this as a good chance to speak with him, I went and took the Arti. Placing a Rs.5 coin on his plate, I asked him if I could take his picture. He cheerfully replied “Haan haan beta kyu nahi… Hum to Lal Bahadur Shastri hain” (Sure why not! After all I am Lal Bahadur Shastri). I clicked about 5 pictures of his. Unfortunately, none of his pictures came out well. When I told him so, he replied, “ Humari photo kabhi achi nhi aati beta… Hum to khud hi ek chalti phirti photo hai” (None of my pictures come out well.. in fact I myself am a walking & talking photo).  His cheerful carefree demeanor made me feel really grateful for having interacted with him.

This experience made me contemplate— how am I living my life? After talking to him, I realized how lucky I actually am… I have more than what I need to survive— I have a good job, a good home to live in; I get good food to eat, I have people who love and care for me… And yet, most of the times, I am dissatisfied, upset, angry about something or the other. The stark difference in our attitudes struck me the most. Here he was, not having good clothes to wear, or make enough money to save for his retirement, or even be assured of getting two square meals a day… And yet, he seemed so much happier and content in his life!

Isn’t this the case with most of us today? We waste so much of our time in giving importance to the things we don’t have, that we fail to see all the things we DO have.

When we get Adidas instead of Nike, or if the Dior perfume that we wanted isn’t available, or the Gucci bag that we wanted has been bought by someone else, we get so upset and frustrated! We pine so much for the latest i-phone or i-pad! Is brand really that important? Or have we become so materialistic that the presence of a product is what defines us?

That day, I learnt that it’s the attitude that makes all the difference— I can either choose to be grateful about things that I have or whine about things that I don’t.  It is my choice.

I’m glad I met a stranger who taught me so much about how to live. I just hope I have many more of such eye opening experiences, which help me live my life better. J

NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery.. today is a gift that is why we call it “the present”.. :)

Such a beautiful, meaningful, deep thought…. However, the word “present” is meaningless to us in today’s world; it’s just another word. We are so busy worrying about future, regretting the past, judging people, getting insecure, and thereby making life difficult for ourselves as well as for others, that we forget the real meaning of “present”.
Do you know why do we feel so lovely when we spend time with kids? It’s only because they don’t have a care in the world. They live in the “now”. They don’t care about who you are, what you do or what they would be doing when they grow up. All they care about is that you are spending time with them. And they’re immensely happy because of that. They don’t demand anything, or have any kind of a negative emotion in them. And because they have accepted us for the way we are, we are also in a sense of happiness and in a state of bliss when we are with them. Aah, it is such a blessing to be a child…. Absolutely no worries at all… just carefree fun and frolic.
So you can argue saying that yes, kids don’t have to worry about anything, because their parents take care of their needs. But once we grow up, we need to take care of ourselves. So more responsibilities and maturity required. We need to think about our careers, jobs, etc. worry automatically creeps up. Yeah so? Do you really have to “worry” about these things? Dictionary.com defines worry as” to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts”. To worry is to “torment” oneself. Now I fail to understand why a person would want to torture oneself by “worrying” about things. I’ve had experiences with people in the past who worry about the most ridiculous things. I mean its like looking at an ant from under an ultra powerful microscope and seeing a dinosaur and getting freaked. Its totally unnecessary. And this is just one part of how we fail to live in the present. There is also insecurity; jealousy and misunderstanding that pull us back from living in the present. Why?
What most of us have forgotten, including myself, is that we get life just once. And the saddest part is that we think we are going to live forever. So, we postpone doing things. Things, which should be given priority, are not given importance. Because we think, we have a lot of time. And so, all the negative emotions come into play. Namely the above-mentioned insecurity, misunderstandings and jealousy. According to me, insecurity is the biggest emotional block that all of us face. Insecurity is what causes jealousy and misunderstandings. All of us are insecure somewhere deep down and I feel insecurity is the root cause of all problems. We are afraid of being judged by others, so we want to be the best. We want to be the best so we compare ourselves with others, and if we find that we’re not good enough, crash goes our confidence and in creeps jealousy. We want to be accepted by others so we pretend to be what we’re not. We are so busy with these meaningless things that we forget to do what we really love. We pretend, pretend and only pretend. The story narrated below would totally explain exactly what I want to say.

                                            LIFE IS LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.


There…. Perfectly summarized what I was trying to say. We end up spending so much of our time complaining, worrying, regretting, that we forget how beautiful the NOW moment is. The future is unknown. Why do you want to think negative and worry? Most important, why do we feel only negative things will happen to us?

So people, lets take an oath this instant that we will live in the “NOW” and have absolutely no place for any negative thought or emotion. If we have a habit of comparing, lets compare ourselves to ourselves; us today vs. us yesterday. Am I better person today? This checkpoint will help us grow immensely. So stay happy, stay healthy and do what you love.

Cheers all!! :) keep growing!! :D


PS: the story mentioned above was taken from www.spiritualshortstories.com.... :)

THE DAY I MISSED MY BUS!!!

You know those days when you wake up really really late and everything, right from finding your pants, to the auto driver, seem to be completely against you reaching office on time?

I just had that day today.:| My company bus generally comes to my stop at 12.40. And guess when I woke up? 12.45!! Oh my god! I slept 11 hours straight! I was so shocked! At first I thought it was Saturday and I didn’t have to wake up early. Then I realized no, it was Friday. After that, I thought my clock was malfunctioning! Man! The excuses a mind can come up with! :D Anyway, I finally checked my phone and damn, it really was 12.45 and NOT a Saturday. So as usual, I panicked. I called a very good friend of mine (who, ironically, misses her buses quite often), and frantically asked her what I should do!!!! She asked me to reach a particular location by 1 o’clock, as quite a few buses go that way. 1 o’clock? That’s’ like 15 minutes away!! She called me up again and asked me if I wanted her to get down her bus. And I said hell yesss!!! Yayy!! I had company!!

Anyway, I got ready pretty fast and ran out of home and didn’t realize my phone got switched off. Its been acting pretty weird a LOT now-a-days. (see? Everything against you?) So before I realized that, I got into an auto to get me to that place. I agreed to pay him 30 bucks, but when I checked my wallet, I had only 20! This was one of the rare occasions I wished even the auto drivers accepted plastic money. My god, can the day get any worse? Apparently, it could. When I switched on my phone, my friend again called me up, telling me that she didn’t get down at that place, but she had spoken to the transport department and they said a bus would be coming along in sometime. So that was good news. The bad news was that I was ten bucks short of paying the auto driver that amount!! And obviously it wasn’t a small amount for them, nor, as I learnt today, for us. I had initially thought I would borrow it from my friend, but she didn’t get down! Now what? I told her I was out of cash and being the sweetheart that she is, she got down at another location and asked me to come there.

Now, my auto driver was so understanding, that even after I told him I missed my bus and had to catch it, he drove slower than a bullock cart. I was so so frustrated! And when I asked him to go a little faster, he had the cheek to yell back and say that there was too much traffic! Dude, what are the other vehicles doing? I retaliated a little, due to which he refused to come till the second location!! Aargghh!! Why, of all the auto's I could get into, I had to get into this auto???????? Anyway, he said he wouldn’t come and called another auto. What about the ten bucks? I borrowed it from the other auto driver and gave it to him. Yeah, pretty pathetic, I know. But hey, I’m not always late!

So FINALLY I reached the place where my friend was waiting. And she paid the auto driver. Phew! I was just so relieved! :D we called the transport dept once again and found out that the bus would take another 25 minutes to reach our location. Now, since we had nothing else to do, we decided to have Pani Puris. We just had the last of them when the bus which was supposed to stop for us just passed by us without stopping! Oh my god no!!!!We called the transport again (we called them a lot of times :D), and told ,actually partly whined, partly accused them, that we were waiting for the bus and it just passed by us without stopping! And he patiently told us that there was another bus of the same number on its way, which hadn’t even crossed my house yet. Ah! So relieving! :)

Anyhow, the rest of the day went by pretty well. I actually had a lot of fun at office! :) so all in all, great day!

What did I learn? Being late sometimes can be fun too!! :D It’s ok to be late once in a while and experience such crazy crazy stuff! Cheers all!! Be crazy! :D

Where are we now!! ??

Imagine that you are completely stressed out one day, completely exhausted. And on your way back from office or college, you see a baby and he/she gives you a million dollar, cute, totally adorable toothless smile!  Doesn’t it lift your mood? And cheer you up in an instant? Doesn’t it give you the confidence that your situation not as bad as it looks and that yes I can handle any thing? That’s the power of smile. And I think most of us have forgotten how to smile more often or we just feel that it’s not important anymore.
I recently had my haircut in one of the so-called “professional” salons. Since it is one of those posh places, smiles are almost nonexistent.  Of course, the person at the reception was friendly and sure, he was smiling, but the others were stone faced. My stylist was a little arrogant. Though for what reason, I’m totally clueless *rolling eyes*. But there was this one person who smiled so genuinely, he touched my heart.  he was the person who opened the door for us when we entered the salon. So down to earth, so sweet, so likeable. He seemed so happy with what he was doing! It felt as if nothing gave him more pleasure than smiling at us! It was so nice to see a friendly face there. I won’t ever forget him. 
But why is it that smiles are becoming so rare? Why is it that throwing attitiude (not smiling and turning up ur nose) means people respect them? Why is that smiling and being friendly means people take you granted? Why is it that we are inceasingly becoming so materialistic? And actually judging people based on how well off they are? Now-a-days, its even common for people to not like someone just because they aren’t sophisticated. I mean how shallow can they get. And the vibes they send out! People have become so self-centered. Thinking only what we feel is right. Inconsiderate about the other person’s plight, so into ourselves!
The incident I want to narrate took place when I was on my way to college in a bus. For anyone who has travelled in an RTC bus on a college going day knows how crowded it can get. So anyway, it was one of the extra crowded days and the bus was packed. And a differently abled person got onto the bus. Now generally, it’s basic courtesy that you get up and offer him your seat. I was so shocked to see that no one got up to give him a seat! :O thankfully, I was sitting in a seat so I got up and he could sit. But seriously? Where’s all the basic humanity gone? And it was mostly college going girls! If they think they cannot stand because the bus is too crowded, then they should have thought about how difficult it would have been for that person, who walks with a clutch, to stand and survive the drive (the bus drivers of Hyderabad aren’t the most careful ones on roads :P)!
This is where we have become so insensitive towards others. This is where we are so caught up thinking about our problems, our issues, that we fail to help another person who is in greater need of our support and guidance.
So why is it so difficult to think of others before ourselves? Its because of our fear of being used by others; being made a fool of without knowing; being taken for granted. Oh sure, we can give 100’s of reasons for not doing it; we don’t know how people really are, its not safe to get friendly and blah blah blah. But deep down, its our insecurity that makes us behave in a certain way. But we’re forgetting the most important thing… not everyone is bad. For people who have read the book called “ the secret” by Rhonda Bryne will know that what you think about the most, you attract that the most and that’s what you end up experiencing that very situation. So if you’re going to keep thinking “ oh my god, all the peole are bad and they want to harm me in some way or that other”, that’s what you’ll get. On the other hand, if you think “ all the people I meet are so nice and helpful”, that’s what you will attract and receive! My dad’s the perfect example. He’s always so positive and calm, and he’s friendly with every body- and when I say everybody I mean everybody. He doesn’t have a single negative opinion about anything or anyone! And guess what? All the people he meets are the best people any one can ever meet! Its so surprising, but there it is!! Its all in our attitude.
Its not wrong to give that extra smile to an unknown person. Its not difficult to be kind to others. Its not impossible to go a little out of your way to help another person out. Its not impractical to think a little more about others and lesser about ourselves …
So let’s all decide (and I’m NOT preaching), at least once a day, we will do something for others, to make them happy. Think more of them and less of us. We will feel so good, so joyous if we do something for others.  it will make the other person glad to have us in his/ her life. And most important, we will feel completely satisfied.
Cheers all!!   And keep smiling!!    

HELLO!!

Hey guys!! Wow!! Finally I’m starting to write a blog!! Yayy!! :P

Okay.. So a lil introduction about myself and my background.. I’m basically a tamilian.. Born in Hyderabad,  was in Bhopal till my 5^th std, came to Hyderabad, studied till 10^th, went to Noida for my 11^th and 12^th and I’m back in the IT Nawab City now after completing my graduation in B.Com (from Hyderabad itself). Lots of places huh? But believe me, it was amazing fun to meet different sort of people.. It’s real fun to get to know new people from different cultures.  My favorite place? Noida.. Hands down. Mostly because I met a real angel there.. I’m soooooo happy she’s still there in my life and though I miss her terribly, when I talk to her, it’s as if we’re never apart.

I’m still in contact with my friend from Bhopal, even after 10 years. So that shows how much I value friendship and what importance it has in my life.. well I’ve had many best friends.. n hv friends all over INdia.. :P

I'M currently wokring for one of the most prestegious company's. but i need to do something for my ineterst too!!Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I love spending time with kids at the orphanages and would love to run one later on in my life. And on one of those rare days that I touch the newspaper (and even more rare that I touched the “education times” of the Times), I got to know about a course offered by CSIM on social entrepreneurship and NGO management. And I thought wow! This seems to be a great course and would certainly help me later on! I enrolled for it.  I just had my third class today ( I did not attend the second one as I was bone tired due to loads of dancing), and it was AMAZING. Literal eye opener. About many things. Like environment, innovation and how every person’s contribution to society is important. And never EVER feel that one single person cannot make a difference.

I also enjoy dancing a LOT. I joined the freestyle classes for staying healthy (staring at computer screens throughout the weekday without physical exercise is horrible. Makes you feel so lazy!). Its early in the morning, so pretty tiring on the days I have it. But coz I LOVE dancing, I don’t struggle to wake up. And I don’t have to drag myself to the classes (unlike for my work). Can’t help cribbing about it!! L hmm.. I guess that’s about it for now!!

PS: its my first blog ever, so please do pardon me if its too boring. Cheers!!